Kira's birthday is on Saturday. She was born on a Monday and true to the rhyme, she was fair of face. I struggle this week to remain in the present. The past seems so much nicer. Yes, one year ago we were pleasantly celebrating with a happy little girl and her equally happy sisters. This year in my mind could just seem horrid and ugly. But, I don't believe that is the way God looks at it or would have me to look at it. But really, how does one celebrate the birthday of a person you can't see? I guess we will sing Happy Birthday, blow out the candles, maybe even buy a present to give to someone else? Birthdays are supposed to be the celebration of one's birth and Kira was born, but just isn't here anymore...so therefore we will still celebrate. I find it extremely painful to say "Yes, this child was born to me four years ago and God gave her a rich full life. She left us last year and went back to God. I am left with a longing heart, eyes darkened by my sinful nature, and a soul that longs for God like never before." So her birthday comes and we celebrate without her, or do we?
Memories flood me from last year. This is my favorite one. Merlin and I attended a funeral on her birthday. We had a babysitter so we didn't have to take the girls along; so after the funeral we took advantage of it and went to Toys'R'Us. We were a total mess. I had never agonized so badly over what to get a three year old child. Merlin acted similarly and we were laughing hysterically at each other. When we finally left we had two big boxes. We decided to pretend that the one was from Marlea and Anna. I remember going out to the car and saying to Merlin "By the time this child turns 21, she will be expecting a house on her birthday." Kira loved her gifts with all her heart. She played a lot with her stroller and highchair those next two weeks and was sweetly proud of them.
Please pray for endurance and courage this week. To actually be able to say "Blessed be Your Name" this week does not come easy for us. Pray also that we would continue to be physically healthy; these past two weeks have seen us all feeling measurably better than before.
Marylu and Merlin, Marlea, Anna
I have been thinking about you, especially as we have celebrated Alex's birthday and thinking about Kira's birthday coming up. Praying that you will have grace to balance the memories and the present. Much love, Lyd
ReplyDeleteKeep thinking about what the kiddos would give to Kira for her birthday if she were here. It would probably be another tom-boy toy. (:
ReplyDeleteI missed her so much yesterday...Joshua would've liked to play with her at Mom's house.
Love, Renita
there r no words i can find to say at a time like this, except that i hope u find peace at this very difficult time of kiras birthday with out kira.....may god bless u .......and celebrate her birthday because thats what she would have loved!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday in heaven Kira.Our thoughts are with your family Marylu in this tough time, but she is with you all in spirit and will be when you celebrate her birthday!
ReplyDeletePraying for you especially this week Merlin & Mary Lou! I can't imagine how difficult it will be, but I think it's so special that you are still celebrating her birthday... especially for your other girls sake! I'm sure it'll be a day that they remember too.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, dear Kira!!
---Devon
Thinking of you. God bless you. Glad you've been feeling measurably better and praying that continues. Sarah
ReplyDeleteDear Marylu,
ReplyDeleteI continue to read your blog every week. Thank you for sharing the precious pictures of the girls. Still praying for you all!
With Love,
Debbie
...thinking of you so much this week and praying that God would shower you with peace and unexpected blessings. Arent you glad you have those birthday memories-so sweet! Marian
ReplyDeleteOh Kira, Kira....
ReplyDeleteThis phrase jumped out at me: "A soul that longs for God like never before." Wow. You are so beautiful in your longing. I love you, sis.
wishing you peace from our Father - as gentle as the falling snow. thinking of you today. love you all.
ReplyDeleteWhat precious memories of her 3rd birthday, and I loved the pictures you posted. I'm sure this is a very difficult time and I continue to hold your family up in prayer. Yes, celebrate Kira...I think a beautiful way to do that is as you mentioned, to give a gift to someone else in her memory! Maybe a child or adult in need? What a wonderful way to honor Kira! May God be with you all!
ReplyDeleteHugz,
Lisa Ann DiNunzio
my friend...hugs!
ReplyDelete