Puddles

When waves crash puddles form between the rocks. What happens to the water? When the waves come again at high tide the next day do they take all the water back out again? Is it mirky and miry? Is it stagnant? Do mosquitoes live in it? Maybe tarantulas? What happens to my puddles? While I am in the puddle is the water getting yucky? My water feels a bit mirky still. I would like to keep it clean, pest-free, and fresh. I would like it to not become salty there. I want the sand underneath me to stay pliable. The tide actually keeps my water clean. These waves, this tide, this grief journey is cleansing my life, and keeping my sand soft. As I let the waves wash out my muddled puddle I can face life again. In the daily hum of life it's easy for me to just live. To try to forget the grief that is around me every day. But letting the grief come it constantly refocuses my life and I accept the hole left behind Kira. I repeatedly tell God "I am confused, I am hurt, I am full of grief, but I will still trust you." When I do not allow the waves to come I grow salty; grouchy and very temperamental. For now I am in the puddle. Maybe sometime I will jump up and stay on the rocks. I jump out every once in a while just to remember what it's like on the rock. Psalm 40:2 reads "He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay; And He set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings."

I recently remembered fter New Year's Day 2009 we spent the night at Merlin's brother's house in OH. Kira was still really proud of her suitcase she had received for Christmas. That morning when we were packing, she packed neatly and promptly. I can still see her wheeling her suitcase out to the doorway for her daddy to load in the truck. The pride was written all over her face. After all she was the first one to have her suitcase there from a family of five. I am human...I wish......

Please pray that we would stay focused on Jesus while the waves continue to cleanse us.

Marylu and Merlin, Marlea, Anna