I feel something new coming; my desire is growing stronger. When I am wounded, I feel pain. It's good to feel pain because it means my heart can feel. If I feel-I can heal. A certain saying reads "No pain, no gain". When Jesus healed the lame man he rose up and walked, praising Jesus. Is that what healing is? Will I actually be able to praise God for this pain-for this healing? After Kira died and the grief came I had no idea what to expect. I felt so out of my comfort zone because life was unpredictable and my feelings were on a hypothetical rollercoaster. God ministered to me every day. I had no idea what the next day would be like. I soon learned that God does and He sent me people every day that ministered to me and were tangible pieces of God. He gave me thoughts through the Bible that helped me understand Him. He provided the correct circumstances for me to learn to rely on Him. He gave me the courage to allow myself to grieve and feel the pain. My trust in God has been gradually strengthened and has slowly become a vital part of my life again. Likewise I have no idea how healing will happen. I feel totally out of my comfort zone just as much as I did with the grief. Jesus calls me to live out of the new life in Him. A part of me would like to be stagnant and needy forever. It's not a God-inspired feeling. It's the feeling of Satan wanting to keep me in one place and in that way paralyze me. It's a battle, one that I refuse again to believe his lies and choose to continue to embrace the cross and it's healing power in my life. As for how the healing will happen...I decided I to stay along for the ride!
Kira and Marlea went through a stage where they were very bandaid-happy. We would go through boxes of bandaids; bandaids healed everything. Kira always has a scrape or a banged-up toe. When she was finished with hers she would stick them anywhere she found cenvenient. I found them on chairs, I scraped them off the floors, on her toys, dolls, or whatever she thought needed one. Bandaids made them so happy that I decided the fun was worth the several dollars' expense. Eventually bandaid use got to be ridiculous so we just didn't buy any more. Then the someone indeed started to bleed, alas - there was none to be had.
We greatly appreciate your continuing prayers!
Marylu and Merlin, Marlea, Anna
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
i remember the bandaid happy stage. **smiles**
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your heart once again Marylu! The bandaid stage was something my niece went through too when she was younger, she had all different colors, shapes etc. It was cute how she had them stuck on her stuffed animals...lol. On another note, my niece Christina was very excited because she was to be a big sister for the first time this coming November. But sadly my sister miscarried last week at nearly 3 months along. My family is broken hearted, and my niece was devestated. We know the baby is in Heaven with Jesus, but it's sad to think of all that we will miss with him/her not being here on earth with us. Please keep my niece and sister in your prayers Marylu.
ReplyDeleteGod bless my friend...always praying for you & the family,
Lisa =)
Dearest Marylu,
ReplyDeleteThank you for continuing to post. I read them weekly although I don't feel a comment is warranted. I am glad to hear of your progress. Thank you for your openness. I am praying for you and Merlin, Marlea, and Kira.
With Love and admiration,
Debbie
There's a saying that we hold on to that's brought about alot of hope for us.
ReplyDeleteHeal the past*Live the present*Dream the future.
You continue to be in our prayers.
Mahlon & Naomi Glick