Expectations of God

Expectation: the prospect of something good to happen. What is my view of God? Do I put myself on a pedestal expecting God to bless me because of what He allowed in my life? I feel sometimes like I hold Him out at arm's length. "God, if you do this, I will..." Is that actually how my heart feels or is that Satan distorting the fundamental belief that God is good? What makes me expect that I should receive blessings from God? Who am I, but a little person in the eyes of a big God. The Bible says that God sees a sparrow fall. If God cares about the sparrow, won't he see and bless me? But, why do I deserve His blessing? Am I a waiting - like a dog waiting for a biscuit? What if something "bad" would happen? Would I forsake God because my disappointment would be so great? Am I going to live life waiting for something? Or am I going to love God with no reserve - unconditionally. To love unconditionally means to love with all your heart no matter what happens. In all my wanderings and expectations I choose to love. Love is much more fulfilling, more calming, and a lot less worrisome. After all, if God loved me enough to die for my sins, why shouldn't I love? The human part of me will continue to question, and Satan will continue to try to distort. I might continue to wait for my biscuit but my God - my heavenly Father - understands. He created me with choice, understands my wanderings, and knows that I will come back to love because He knows my heart.

When Kira was about two and a half people would tell her "You're cute." With fiery eyes and an insulted look she would say: "No! Ki-ki!" Meaning "cute" is not her name, she is Ki-ki. She did the same thing when people told her she looks like her daddy. "No! Ki-ki!" She was her own person, whoever heard of looking like someone else, she was only Kira. We teased her: "Kira, are you cute?" Fire! "No, Kiki!" Her daddy loved that line!

Merlin was at the doctor this week. We are hoping that the recommendations will work for him. We have been on the medical route before and it didn't work. This will take a long time, but the end result looks promising. We also made some diet adjustments which seem to be working well. Spring allergy season is coming to an end, which should also be helpful.

Pray for Merlin's healing, and that our marriage especially could remain strong, and that we can continue to meet Marlea's needs in the way that brings her closer to Jesus.

Marylu and Merlin, Marlea, Anna